The Wind
by Dazed.What
Summary: Edward/Jacob AU Slash. Established relationship. Jacob cheats on Edward  with Jasper . From Edward's POV, at least in the beginning, and may eventually include vampire stuff, but for now, all human. edward/jacob, edward/emmett  both  jacob/jasper a lil
1. I Listen to the Wind

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT OWN ANYTHING THAT IS NOT ORIGINAL TO THIS STORY

Chapter One

**Edward POV**

There I was, sitting on top of the grassy hill that overlooked the landfill. The place was filled with toxic waste and smog occupied a full hundred yard bubble over and around it. Nobody in their right mind would step near it; so, that's why I did. It was the only place I could think of that no one would find me. They couldn't connect it to me because, besides dropping off an old couch there once, I had never been to or spoken of the place. There, I was safe. Safe to be broken inside, without the fear of someone coming to crush the pieces.

I remember the first time we really spoke. Jasper had introduced us at a party and we just clicked. We had both had a few drinks, but neither of us were paro off our asses and, once we sobered up a bit, he asked to walk me home. It was really sweet and before we had been walking for thirty seconds, he grabbed my hand. It felt like we had been dating forever, it felt so comfortable, so right.

As was our relationship for the next few months. I knew that he was more experienced, but he let us take it slow, go steady. It was innocent like an original era Beatle's song. In a situation where someone else might have forced themselves on me, he would look at me and with that beautiful smile say,

"I want to hold your hand."

That is why, eventually, I did give myself to him. It took a lot for me to be ready enough and, when the time came, I still didn't know if I was ready. It hurt, I knew it couldn't be helped, but he tried his best to be gentle and make it good for me and I loved him for that. God, I loved him so much. That is, I loved the man I thought he was. The very next day, I walked in on him and Jasper. The door was unlocked and I thought it would be okay if I just came in. I was wrong. I was wrong about that and I was wrong to think that he would wait for me. That he would love me. I dropped what I had in my hands and ran away to the waste site to throw away my broken heart.

And so I sat there on the hill at dusk, staring at the smoky orange, alone. The machines were off and the only sound was coming from the wind. I had no jacket but I welcomed the breeze that blew under the sleeve of my t-shirt. I listened to the wind and it cleared my mind. I breathed deeply and lied back onto the grass for what I wanted to be eternity.

SEEMS LIKE A ONE SHOT BUT ITS NOT =) HOPING TO MAKE IT A MANY SHOT, OR THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY'RE CALLED, I KNOW BUT YES, THE POINT IS, IT'LL BE LONG. LONGISH AT LEAST. AND THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LESS LIKE A WEIRD PEOMY THING AND LONGER WITH DIALOGUE AND WHATNOT. CHAH.


	2. To the Wind of my Soul

Chapter 2: To the Wind of my Soul

I had rested on that hill for days, it seemed. I just laid there, my body unmoving. The wind had never let up and when it moved through my shirt, it's like it went in and grabbed my soul, separating us for a bit. It was one with the wind and only having to listen to it, not having to feel it, I was completely relaxed. It wasn't until early morning the next day that I opened my eyes and stood up. The machines were running again, incinerating trash, crushing things of the past. The noise had both woken me and replaced the pit in my gut. I, again, felt as bad as when I had come there, albeit more tired and hungry, and dreaded going back to school.

Both Jacob and I went to the same college, along with my buddy from high school, Jasper. Jasper was a grade ahead of me and had met Jacob his freshman year. They were both sophomores when Jasper introduced us and I was the fresh meat. It was really cool having both of them, especially Jake, show me the ropes and make sure that I didn't have any major screw ups in my first year. Of course, I had made some other friends in my classes and hung out with my roommate quite a bit, but the majority of my time was spent with Jacob, Jasper and their whole gang. Now, I don't think that I could even bear looking at them.

It's a long walk back to campus and I'm sure that I look like a bum or a runaway, walking down the highway. I was so upset last night that time had pretty much escaped me and I didn't realize how far I had actually trekked. The school is right in the center of town, whereas the landfill outskirts it, meaning that I was probably running and walking for at least an hour or two. No wonder my legs are killing me so much. I'm not much of a sports guy and I'm pretty sure that the last time my body moved more than two miles per hour by itself was in tenth grade P.E. and, even then, I did the minimal amount required and squirmed my way out of everything else.

In the middle of thinking about my aching body and grumbling stomach, my toe catches in a snake hole and I fall face flat, ass in the air and, just my luck, a car pulls over at the exact same time. The engine turns off and I can hear some light chuckling. A car door slams and the still amused male voice asks,

"You alright, dude?" He gives off another little laugh and I'm too mortified to move, let alone answer him. This only seems to make him think I'm dead though because, after a few seconds of me being ultra still and willing him to just leave my abused and embarrassed being alone, he rushes up to me, grabs me by the shoulders and starts slapping my cheek saying, "Come on buddy, wake up."

Defeated, I open my eyes and what I see makes any thoughts of Jake and Jasper leave me. The guy whose arms I'm is gorgeous. Albeit, he's a bit bigger than most guys I've been in to, but gorgeous, nonetheless. He has a strong face, blue eyes, dark hair and great bone structure. The look on it, though, is confused and concerned. I realize that he's been holding me for awhile now and I've just been staring at him, dumbfoundedly. My head's tilted into him and I feel like a newborn baby being held for the first time. In fact, I feel about as weak as one.

"You alright?" The guy says again, but this time without the snicker.

I blink my eyes a few times and gather myself up, moving away from him. "Yeah," I say as I start to stand up, brushing the dirt off of my jeans. "just a little bit dazed. Um sorry about that… Thanks." As I continue to wipe off the rest of the dirt that's one me, I pick up my bag that I had dropped and put it over my shoulder.

"No problem." He says it slowly, like he's more focused on figuring out what I'm doing than what he's saying. "Hey, you look a little messed up, do you need a ride or something? I go to RUH so I'm heading into town."

So the god goes to my school. I can't tell right now whether I'm happy about that or not. He seems nice enough, but I really don't feel like having to deal with him telling people he found me on the side of the road outside of town. I look at him and then at the ground.

"I don't know." I tell him, ambiguity flooding my voice.

"I won't bite, I swear." He gently puts his hands up and is speaking in a really soft tone. I know I'm acting like a wounded puppy and he's definitely starting to treat me like a stray. If I look that bad, or even as bad as I feel, then I guess catching a ride with him would save me some trouble.

Deciding that it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world, I look up at him and ask, "You promise you won't bite?"

It makes him smile and he runs to the front door and opens it for me. I'm still a little hesitant as I walk over, but the look on his face when he reaches his hand out to introduce himself puts butterflies in my empty stomach. "I'm Emmett." He says.

I'm already half-way into the car, but I take his hand to shake it. "Edward" I give him my name back. I normally would never get into a car with a stranger and don't even give my name out to most people, but something about Emmett makes me feel safe.

Once I'm in, he shuts my door for me and runs to the driver side. "Where to?" He asks.

"Um, RUH. I'm a freshman."

Suddenly, the smirk reappears on Emmett's face as he nods to himself. He starts up the car and says, "I was hoping you weren't a high school kid." I'm 19 now, but the majority of people take me for sixteen or seventeen. That's one of the things that Jake likes about me. Says he likes how young I look. It kind of made me uncomfortable the first time he said it, but so many other good things he'd say had made it less creepy. Oh great, I'm thinking about Jacob again.

"Mind if I roll down the windows?" Emmett asked.

Fresh air sounds great, actually. "Go for it." I tell him. I rest my elbow on the open window sill and stick my head partially out, feeling the wind blow through my hair. The wind that took my soul and gave it back to me. My saving grace, if only for a moment.


	3. Were I'll End Up

OKAY, SO REREADING THE OLDER CHAPTERS MADE ME REALIZE HOW TROUBLESOME WRITING IN PRESENT TENSE IS… BUT IMA CONTINUE GIVIN IT A SHOT I GUESHH. HOWEVER THERE WILL BE PARTS (LARGE PARTS) IN PAST TENSE. AND IM TOO LAZY, AS OF NOW, TO FIX PAST ERRORS. Hmm I'm thinking that last sentence might describe some of my character flaws…

Chapter 3: Where I'll End Up

_"Later man." _

His voice was intoxicating. When he had parked in front of my dorm to drop me off, it took everything I had to force myself out of the car. To force myself away from this ultimate high I was getting.

I didn't know what would happen after I left him or where I'd end up. I assumed that the second my feet hit concrete that the feeling I'd had walking on the side of the road would come back, but I didn't know where I'd physically put myself to try to feel better. Surprisingly, when I shut the door behind me and began walking away, Emmett's voice called me back,

"Hey Edward!" I turned back around to look at him. "Come back here for a sec."

I walked back to the passenger side's rolled down window and tried to stifle the overwhelming mix of excitement, nervousness and curiosity I felt. "What's up?" I said.

He smirked and I almost lost it before he replied, "Maybe you should get my number."

My heart was racing. Was this guy really interested in me? Did I actually have a chance? At that moment, there weren't any thoughts of: what about Jacob? What would Jasper think? Or, am I still technically in a relationship? No, at that moment, my world revolved around one person: Emmett Cullen.

"You know, just in case you get stranded again and need a ride."

For a moment, the rest of his comment let me down. Maybe he was just being nice. But then again, he does seem like a funny guy and maybe this was just his way of slyly and sarcastically making a move. Jeez, what if he wasn't even gay, though? I mean, why is it that it always takes me a sluggishly slow amount of time to ask that question? I mean, I guess I should have a good enough gaydar by now, but I'd hate to embarrass myself if I'm ever wrong.

Realizing that I had, once again, quietly stared off into space in his presence, I tried to let out a cool and uncommitted response, "Well, I do get lost a lot." Shit. Total unsuccess. With that and my tendency to space out in front of him, I was sure he thought I was retarded. Thankfully, though, he laughed asked me to pass him my phone: the phone that had been on silent in my pocket and not checked for 12 hours. Stupidly, I didn't bother to open it before I tossed it to him and when he saw the immense amount of missed calls and texts, he frowned at me.

"Dude when was the last time you checked this shit? You have, like, a hundred text messages."

I shrugged, "Just exit out of them, I can check them later."

So the god gave me his number, gave me my phone, drove away and now I'm making the arduous task up the four flights of stairs to my dorm room.

As I put the key in the door handle, I'm praying that my roommate isn't there. I know I look like crap and I really don't feel like an intervention. I mean, I've always let him know when I'm not coming back for the night and, if he's there, I know he'll want to play 20 questions about it. Twisting the key and pushing the door open, I start cringing before I can even tell whether or not he's there. I make my way in and close the door super-fast, quick enough that I wasn't really able to see anything in the room before I faced the exit again. God, I'm a pussy with confrontation.

"Yo, Ed, where'd you go all night?" Hearing his voice, I shift my eyes. It's kind of weird. I guess the urge to cringe isn't showing up because I'm already cringing. It's not as much of a stomach flip. I'm just shifting my eyes out of realization rather than fear or surprise. It's kind of a relief. It's like, when you get really nervous about a performance, but, once you're on stage, all the butterflies go away and in the end you were like, "Well, that wasn't so bad." It's a reaction I wouldn't normally expect in myself, considering I'm one of those people who gets really nervous about a performance and then, once they're on stage, either cries, pees or runs off. What I end up saying is, "Well, that sucked, where's the shotgun?"

"Hello? Earth to Masen…" Shaking my head, I turn around and smile at him.

"Um… Morning, Luke." I'm actually alright with my lame response right now. First of all, it's Lucas I'm talking to, my roommate, and I really don't think I could embarrass myself in front of him. Secondly, the place I thought I'd be right now is way far off from where I actually am. I thought I'd still be upset, but I'm not. I'm actually really giddy. It should take me weeks, at the least, to get over Jacob and even longer to find somebody else. Jeez I might not have thought I _would_ want somebody else, but I do.

ALRIGHT, SO EVEN THOUGH THE EARLIER CHAPTERS WERE SHORT, THIS CHAPTER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LONGER, BUT LIKE I SAID IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS CHAPTER, THE FREAKING PRESENT TENSE STUFF IS TRIPPIN' ME OUT! I HAD SO MUCH MORE ACTION IN MIND FOR THIS, BUT COULDN'T GET IT OUT THAT WAY. SOOOO, I'VE DECIDED TO EL SCREWO PAST TENSE AND MAKE THE SUCCEEDING CHAPTERS REGULARO PAST TENSE. GREAT =). SO THE WAIT WILL BE EXPONENTIALLY SHORTER AND THE NEXT CHAPTER EXPONENTIALLY LONGER AND BETTA


	4. Well, I Think

YUP, I LIED. NOT LIKE IT WAS INTENTIONAL, BUT I PROBABLY COULD HAVE GUESSED IT WOULD TAKE ME THIS LONG TO UPDATE. I'M REALLY SHITTY WITH THAT STUFF, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED.

Chapter 4: Well, I Think

"Jesus dude, where the hell were you, the fucking Sahara?"

Coughing as dust and dirt gathered in my face, I continued shaking out my t-shirt by the window. I wouldn't have bothered, but the last time somebody got sand in the washing machine it got into my clothes when I used it after them and, call me a moral goody two-shoes, but I figured why the hell not make somebody's day a little less sucky by shaking my shirt a few times? (Definitely seems easier than nit-picking every grain of sand from eighteen plus articles of clothing, including underwear and socks. Have you ever had shit-tons of dry sand in your socks and in between your toes? Probably, huh? Then you see my point.) Damn stuff was clogging my throat, though. I coughed again before realizing that I had done about as much good as I could through a screened window and went on to abandon the shirt in my hamper in the closet.

I hadn't responded to Luke's comment, but I think he took my not being able to breath as a good enough consolation prize. I still hadn't told him what had happened, however, so he didn't have any reservations about opening the door to our room when he heard a knock. It was a soft knock, followed by two shorter, hasty ones, and Luke was in a very easy position to grab the handle while sitting at his desk to the left of the doorway. I didn't have time to tell him not to get it. Instead, when I made quick eye-contact with him, I put my finger to my closed mouth and stayed perfectly still, backed up in the closet and hoping to go unnoticed. Luke had kind of smiled, confused, maybe thinking that I knew who it was and that I was going to jump out and surprise them. I did have an idea who it might be, if the fact that the majority of the missed texts and calls I had gotten over the past twelve plus hours were from Jasper and Jake was any sign, but I definitely wouldn't be fooling around with either of them. Not joking, not screwing, not nothing.

"Hey Luke, what's up, man?" A friendly voice entered the room after the door was fully opened. _Jake._ Of course it was Jake. But why? God, it was so hard to be strong around him; he was so stubborn and sure of himself, it almost made you feel inferior in comparison, or at least inferior enough that you let yourself become submissive. If he really had wanted to have sex before I was ready, we probably would have.

I can't see it because I'm closing my eyes and not letting myself move, but I can hear the handshake fist-bump they do before Luke responds, "Not much, dude. So, uh, what brings you here, Jake? Lookin' for Masen, I'm guessing?"

Jake sighs, "Yeah. You don't know where he is, do you?" God, his voice sounds all sweet and innocent. Deceivingly, of course.

"Nah, dude, sorry." Good, Luke, don't give in.

"Crap, are you sure?" Jake sounded really let down and I actually heard Luke snort. _Fuck man, don't give me up._ "Like, there's nowhere you think he'd go? I've looked everywhere I can think of. I even came back here last night, but neither of you answered."

I heard him step in the room and, when I opened my eyes, I could see his back facing mostly away from the closet. _Crap._ I tried not to breathe heavily. I really, really did not want to deal with him then. I was feeling good before he showed, but his voice made me feel dread. Not like before, before I was hurting, upset, confused. After meeting Emmett, Jake actually scared me, because he was something standing in between me and my happiness, strange in itself that after less than twenty-four hours of knowing Emmett he became connected to my happiness.

"Yeah," Luke laughed, "I was out pretty late. Masen didn't come home throughout the night, though." Luke was having fun with this. He wasn't a homophobe, but I knew that one of the reasons that he was totally okay with my relationship with another guy was because Jake and Jasper were like gods to the freshman football players, of which Luke was one, and that automatically made it completely cool. Plus, Jake was bi and Jasper was presumed straight.

"Damn it… I'm really worried about him. He just ran off last night and no one has seen him since." Jake was just sounding more and more pathetic and I knew that Luke was thinking about giving up the whole charade. _He better not._ I was sweating at the brow, praying that Jake would accept that I wasn't there and go off somewhere else before Luke opened up his fat mouth again.

Jake hung his head forward and I could tell from Luke's silence that he was waiting for something to happen. Seeming to run out of patience, he finally told Jake, "Dude, turn around."

_Fucking Luke!_ I quickly tried to find something to make it look like I was in the closet for a reason other than hiding, but it was useless. I hadn't had enough time and when he spun around to see me, I looked pitiful. I was shirtless and in the same jeans I was wearing the last time I saw him, but this time they were dirty and had an extra rip in the left knee. I hadn't noticed it right away because I was so embarrassed, but when I tripped in the snake hole, I had scratched up my knee a little bit. It wouldn't have been important to even mention, it pretty much fully healed within days and was in the same category as a bruises from everyday activity that are unimportant so don't get acknowledged, but, since the rip and scratches added to my pitifulness, I thought I would. I still looked like crap from the no sleep and running around and my hair was untamable at best. I was caught between trying to cover myself, looking angry and pretending that this wasn't happening. I guess I was putting the most effort into pretending it wasn't happening, because, when he said "Ed…," I shut my eyes and hugged my stomach. "Ed." He tried again. "Eddie, please look at me."

I opened my eyes and tried to glare at him, but the look he gave me had me simply staring at his face instead. When I wasn't thinking about what he had done and when he wasn't saying anything, I really was still attracted to him. There was something about Jake that made me not want to resist and that something was definitely shining through at that moment. _No!_ I tried to snap myself out of it, saying, "I'm busy right now, Jacob. I have to take a shower. I'm dirty and gross and I can't do this with you here."

He took a confident step forward, toward me, and I backed up into the closet wall. "God… Eddie, please let me drive us to my place. You can shower there if you want, I know you like it better than the dorm's bathrooms. I need us to talk about this." Luke had closed our door so that he had a better view of our interaction and Jake was obviously factoring that in. "Please," he repeated.

As I looked up at him, my eyes were teary. When had I started to cry? Even though I was comfortable around him, I didn't want to do this in front of Luke. I wasn't going with Jake. I didn't trust myself to speak without it coming out in sobs so I just grabbed the closest top, which ended up being an oversized sweater, and my towel that was on the floor. I slid by Jake and opened the door, quickly moving out of the room and down the hall. Jake followed me out and closed the door behind him. Nobody else was in the long hall and, by the time I reached the end of it, Jake had caught up to me. I clutched my towel and the sweater tightly to my middle and chest. He was backing me up against the window sill of the opening that looks out over the quad and, pretty soon, he was pressed up against me.

I felt vulnerable, and when he tried to grab away the cloth that was stuck in my arms, I held on tighter. I wasn't going to let him see me any more than I could help. "Stop," I said.

"What are you doing, Ed?" What was _I_ doing? What was _he_ doing? He should have, at the very least, been groveling at my feet, begging for forgiveness. Yet, he was acting all weird and breathing deeply.

"Was that just an act in there, Jacob?" I spat back at him. In response he dropped his arms and ever so slightly backed up. It was enough, though, to make me feel a surge of confidence. "Or do you actually give a shit about me? You said that you were worried, but, even if that was true, what the hell does it mean if you didn't even care enough about me to begin with?"

Jacob grabbed my shoulders and yelled back, "Don't say that, I've always cared about you!"

He shook me once and I shut my eyes, grinding my teeth. Shaking me again, he screamed, "Look at me, dammit! I'm trying to help us!"

Jake's screams were loud enough that my R.A. (resident advisor) stuck his head out of his room to see what was going on. He had obviously not liked what he had seen initially, because, after waving another guy out of his room, he and his friend started walking toward us. Sensing their approach, Jake let go of me and put an arm around my shoulder, smiling at my R.A.

"What's going on?" My R.A. asked.

I wasn't going to play dumb for Jake's sake. I unclutched one of my arms from the sweater and towel against my chest and threw Jake's arm off of me and began to scoot away from him.

"Sorry we were yelling." Jake said to the R.A. while trying to move closer to me again. "We promise it won't happen again." He grabbed the wrist of my arm that was still holding the towel and the sweater and I flinched, dropping both items to the floor and attempting to keep Jake from touching me. He was probably trying to grab my hand in some lame ass attempt to look like a friendly couple.

The R.A. must have taken in my appearance and sensed my discomfort at having Jake so close, though, because he said, "Hey there, Buddy, why don't you just back off." He was speaking to Jake. "Also," he continued, "we're having a hall meeting in about five minutes and Edward is our Green Club liaison. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something but I really need you to come to my room and help me prepare the presentation, Ed." He was speaking in tongues at first, there was no hall meeting that day, but then I got that he was trying to get me out of a possibly bad situation by giving me an out, as unbelievable as it was considering I'm not quite one with nature and didn't even know our school had a Green Club. I guess it's part of their R.A. training.

"Hall meeting? On a Saturday?" Jake was not convinced. "Whatever, Edward, I'll just pay whatever fine you get for missing it. What we need to figure out is more important right now."

Both Jake and the R.A. with his friend (who I guessed came in case the R.A. needed physical support if things got ugly) were staring at me and I glanced my eyes to the R.A. He was strong and at the moment looked very worried, but confident. I looked at Jake and he looked… weird. I don't know how else to describe it, but something had changed about him. This Jake was more primal, not showing even a scrap of the good I always saw in him, before. Maybe he was just tired and just as upset about this as I was. _What? It's HIS fault! If he's upset it's good riddance._ I wouldn't have chosen to leave with him, regardless, but his creepy demeanor had me bending down to pick up my Sweater and towel and walking over to the R.A. When Jake tried to follow, I stopped him, "Stop it, Jake! Alright, just leave me alone right now. I'm going to prepare for my meeting… You should probably go."

I would have felt empowered by saying those things, but Jake's death glare in response was chilling to say the least. "Alright Edward," he began through clenched teeth, "I'll hit you up later, then." He walked away and out the exit door to the stairs. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You okay, dude?" It was the R.A.'s friend.

Again, I clutched my towel and sweater to my chest. Everything that had happened was so clear at moments but so jumbled and my sleep exhaustion was really getting to me. All I said was "thanks" before I gave the two of them a very forced-looking smile and made my way to the bathroom.

In the shower, I thought about a lot of stuff, like how it was possible for me to feel so differently about Jake than I had only days before. It wasn't just like I figured out that he had done something he had been hiding from me, but it was more like I figured out that he was this random other person he had been hiding from me. I'll admit, I wouldn't have been the best judge of his character at the time, but, with the exception of his everlasting draw which I felt even after the incident, I felt like a curtain had been pulled and revealed that everything I knew about Jake was warped. The thought linking Jake's apparent changes with him being upset about us returned. I was pretty tired, as I've said so many times, and I started thinking about how maybe he hadn't turned into a bad guy but that there was some explanation he had for doing what he did and that maybe I should hear him out. But then I thought of Emmett and how I could see my whole future with him. With Emmett, I wouldn't need baggage like Jake.

My head was swarming with thoughts as the hot water shot down through my hair and I was starting to feel light-headed. My stomach growled and I groaned. If it was possible, I felt worse than I had running to the landfill the night before. To me it was more like it had happened weeks ago but just this morning at the same time. I needed to sleep it off.

From the bathroom I went straight to my dorm. Luke had left a message on the white board we kept on our door, _gone to the lounge to study with Al, hope you work'd ur shit out._ Opening the door and closing it behind me, I pulled on the oversized sweater and a pair of sweat pants, dropping the towel. I put on some socks, closed the window and the blinds, turned off the light Luke had left on and crawled into bed. I was out like the light.


End file.
